Hot as Can Be
by GintaxAlvissForever
Summary: Royal bodyguard fic. Pepper slacks off on her royal bodyguards duty to watch some yaoi action. She drags Summer, Zelina and her pet Sao along. Reference of Pit/Sonic Snake/Luigi and Satoshi/Shadow/Lyn


**Hot as Can Be**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kid Icarus or Super Smash Brothers Brawl. If I did, there would be yaoi. The royal bodyguards (except Haruhi) Abbigale, and the season cherubs are mine! Zelina and Sao belong to Zelina56. **

**Summary: Pepper slacks off on her royal bodyguards duty to watch some (yaoi) action. She drags Summer, Zelina and her pet Sao along.**

**Pairing: Reference of Pit/Sonic, Snake/Luigi and Satoshi/Shadow/Lyn threesome**

**Genre: Humor, General **

**Rated: T (for teen)**

**Warning: Yaoi, swearing, a crazy yaoi fangirl or two, sexual reference and the pedo bear!**

**Me: This is a request by my friend Zelina56. I said I would work on it, so I decided school because DA works at this school…for now. LOL I'll make sure this website doesn't get banded. Anyway, fear the randomness!**

* * *

It was a very boring say in Angel Land. 8th seat of Palutena's royal bodyguards and most amazing (quote unquote) bodyguard to add was none other than Pepper. She was very bored and I mean really bored. She had nothing to do unless you count going on Deviant Art and looking at yaoi pictures of the hottest anime/video game pairings or playing Brawl and kicking the crap out of people on Wii Fi and desperately waiting for Kingdom Hearts 358/2 to come out. The definition of bored was that there were no life threatening missions assigned to her. The only one who was assigned to these missions are Sun-Wong, Himeno and Isaak. Everyone else is forced to stay behind mainly because they don't have what it takes to handle solo missions. Because of this, she decided that she would pay a visit to her captain at Smash Brothers Mansion. The blonde Cherub Summer didn't want to be alone, so she went along with her higher up.

There was a problem though and that their names were Zelina and her Cabbit Sao. Zelina was a witch apprentice under the old witch angel Abbigale. While very old, that old hag is not to be underestimated. It was for the best that Zelina was under her wing though.

The problem with being Abbigale's apprentice is that she adopted some of the old hag's traits. That trait being nosy and assiduous. Pepper did not like it when people were on to her and Zelina was no exception. Normally, if people didn't get off her back, she would send Chobi to do God knows what to them. Not this time though. This time, she would deal with her personally to the point where if she got caught, Zelina would be punished.

The witch apprentice continued to follow the fire angel and summer cherub when Pepper stopped. This made Summer crash into Pepper's back.

"What? What is it?" Summer questioned.

Pepper turned around and waved, "HI ZELINA! HOW ARE YOU DOING?!"

Did anyone mention that Pepper had a very loud obnoxious voice? Well, it wasn't as bad as her messed up stepsister's but it was still annoying. Zelina had to cover her ears in order to prevent herself from becoming deaf. Summer was oblivious to the fire angel's loud voice though.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE ZELINA?!"

Zelina had to go closer to Pepper and tell her to keep her voice down. Pepper did that knowing that she had Zelina at her mercy.

"So, what's cracking?" Pepper questioned.

Zelina shook her head, "Where are you two going?"

Pepper grinned, "We're going to see Captain Pit and some hot yaoi action."

Zelina sweat dropped, "I should have known."

"Now that I know you are a part of this, I can't let you leave."

Zelina looked away. She fell into the fire angel's trap.

"Oh no…"

Pepper put two of her fingers in her mouth and whistled. No sooner did she whistle did Chobi come storming into the hallway with a tampon in its mouth. You can hear a girl screaming in the background telling the yellow bird to get its ass back into the bathroom. Pepper laughed.

"Good job taking the last pad from Saber!" she praised.

"SQUAWK!"

Summer did not know what a pad was so she just cheered. Zelina was…mortified.

"Give it back to Saber. If you don't, she might kill everyone when you get back because of PMS."

"So what if she's PMSing? Li has MPMS too."

"Uh…"

"Before Saber kills us all, let's go!"

Without warning, Chobi picked up Zelina by her cloak and held her in its mouth. Pepper and Summer jumped on the yellow bird as the bird left the palace before the vectors had a chance to be unleashed.

Screaming could be heard miles away because there were no more pads in Palutena's palace.

* * *

The trio finally arrived at Smash Brothers Mansion uninvited. The first thing Pepper did was fly off and search for the room where Pit was resigning in. It was nice of Pit to text message her on her cell phone telling her that Dr. Wright dropped a chemical bottle which made many of the Smashers and assist trophies in the mansion very horny.

Now Pepper would have went to see Pit first but more important than her captain was none other than Ike because fan girls LIKE Ike.

So there Pepper, Zelina and Summer was watching Ike doing his thing in the room. What he was doing? You had to be there to know what he was doing but it was streamy hot.

"Did you get the pictures?" Pepper asked Summer in a very serious tone.

Summer nodded her head.

"Great! Now let's see Captain Pit!"

Zelina could only sigh as they paid a visit to their captain. Of course, he was busy doing some…things…

"I hear moaning and I hear groaning," Pepper said with an evil grin, "I must go into the room."

"NO!" Zelina exclaimed.

Pepper glared at Zelina, "Why the fuck not?"

"Do you want to end up on Captain Pit's bad side if you get caught peeking?"

"…No…but the yaoi…"

There was more moaning and gasping coming from the door. The red angel almost had a nose bleed when she heard the squealing.

"Pit…I'm going to…"

"Just a little more…"

"AHHHH!"

Zelina dragged Pepper and Summer away before the fire angel could destroy the door and watch the action. She was not amused.

* * *

"HOW COULD YOU ZELINA?!"

Zelina covered her ears. Why did Pepper have to yell? If they were caught, they wouldn't hear the end of it from Palutena or Pit if he ever found out.

"I really think we should leave now," Zelina mumbled.

"For what reason?! There is still yaoi to find!"

Zelina rolled her eyes.

"Hey! I hear more!" Summer announced.

Zelina looked annoyed when she saw Pepper zoom to the next door where she knew there was more yaoi. Of course, upon hearing a FEMALE'S voice in the room along with two guys, the red angel looked ready to hurl.

"Let's go home. now.."

Zelina rolled her eyes. Once she found a straight pairing, she lost motivation. It was that sad. Made her wonder if Pepper was lesbian (which she wasn't!)

The three angels were about to fly back to Angel Land when Pepper thought she heard more yaoi. It was coming from another door. She flew over to the door and leaned in. She gasped.

"Snake, stop teasing me!"

"What's wrong with that? Your brother isn't here so there is no need to be afraid."

"But...mama mia."

Zelina groaned, "You know that they might not even be having it, right?"

"They are..."

Zelina gave up. She was going to leave the 8th seat behind when she heard Summer scream. The witch apprentice would have told her to shut up when her eyes widened.

"No..."

"What is it?" Pepper asked. She turned around and her eyes widened in horror.

"Excuse me. Which way is loli?"

Zelina gawked. It was him!

Pepper pointed to the door before taking Summer and Zelina and flying at top speed.

"IT'S THE PEDOBEAR!" Pepper screamed as she flew all the way to Angel Land without stopping.

The Pedobear looked confused. He took his head off revealing the older brother of Luigi.

"Mama mia," Mario began, "Those girls have no idea what they are talking about."

With that said, he knocked on the door and Snake refused to answer it confusing the plumber.

* * *

Back in Angel Land, Kaguju found out and blackmailed the red angel into doing a report that he was suppose to do and give it to Haruhi. Not wanting to get in trouble, Pepper started on the paper. She was no longer bored. Just annoyed.

"When will the Kingdom Hearts game come out?!" she questioned out loud as she kept switching between the paper on her computer and watching Junjou Romantica since it was a hot yaoi anime.

Kaguju just laughed. He blackmailed Zelina and Summer too. He threatened to bring the Pedobear up into Heaven if they didn't clean up the whole palace of Angel Land. Zelina swore that she would get him back one day. Summer just didn't want to see that brown bear again and threw all her teddy bears away. Winter couldn't understand why but she liked a room with less faces staring at her.

* * *

**Me: Done with 1826 words.**

**Yohko: Was there really yaoi?**

**Me: Between Pit and Sonic, yes. The threesome, yes. Snake and Luigi, no. As for what Ike was doing, you have to be there to know but it was hot! I'm sorry to say this people but you missed out! This is for Zelina BTW and I hope she likes it. Please review. Ja ne!**


End file.
